Pregnancy planning

Pregnancy planning

The decision to have a baby is, perhaps, the first family act that can be called an adult without any “buts”. And here it is important to understand that a child is not a toy that entertains and gives continuous pleasure.

Newlyweds should make sure that they do not romanticize the fact of having a baby in their family and are ready for difficulties. To have a child, both parents-to-be need to seriously prepare both physically and mentally.

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The decision to have a baby is, perhaps, the first family act that can be called an adult without any “buts”. And here it is important to understand that a child is not a toy that entertains and gives continuous pleasure.

Newlyweds should make sure that they do not romanticize the fact of having a baby in their family and are ready for difficulties. To have a child, both parents-to-be need to seriously prepare both physically and mentally.

The perfect time to have a baby

The first couple of years in marriage, newlyweds usually prefer to live “for themselves”, enjoying the new feeling – “We are family!” When the flair of romance somewhat dissipates and the lovers fully taste the not-too-sweet fruit of household chores, thoughts of an heir or a little princess appear. There are several signs by which you can understand that the time has come.

 

First and foremost, the decision to have a child should be mutual,” emphasizes family psychologist Inna Feldman, “It would be a mistake to expect that having a baby will help strengthen the family. Moreover, parents-to-be should be prepared for the fact that in connection with him they will have to overcome certain difficulties in the relationship. But if young people love each other, want a child and there are no obvious contraindications for this, then you should not postpone the birth of a baby until some ideal conditions are created. 

So, the first condition is the mutual desire of the spouses to have a child and an understanding of future difficulties.

The second sign that a husband and wife are ready for the birth of a baby is psychological and material independence. If young people are counting on the help of their parents, one should not be surprised that they will begin to control them. And this is true: after all, a young family, in fact, revealed its inconsistency and inability to independently solve problems.

“We need to get out of the parental wing, solve financial and housing issues: where the family will live after the birth of the child and for what money. If, for objective reasons, it is impossible to do without parental help, young people must determine which issues they decide exclusively among themselves, and in which cases parental intervention is permissible. You need to try to protect the boundaries of your family, ”adds the psychologist.

To be ripe for the birth of a child and to announce “work on the best project in life”,despite the external circumstances, is just the beginning. The spouses will have serious preparation.

Healthy baby for healthy parents

It’s no secret that a child receives half of his genes from his mother, and half from his father. This means that the spouses should prepare for the birth of a baby together. First of all, the husband and wife should go to the urologist and gynecologist, respectively. Be sure to visit a dentist, therapist, ENT. Doctors examine future parents, prescribe vitamins, and prescribe the necessary tests. And if necessary – and a course of treatment.

Hiding health problems is dangerous and selfish: the spouses are already responsible for the baby, who has not even been born yet. Moreover, most diseases that can harm a child are amenable to quick treatment with timely diagnosis. It is important to cure all inflammations before pregnancy, because during pregnancy many medications and anesthesia are contraindicated.

A woman deciding to get pregnant should stop taking birth control and carefully monitor her weight. The fact is that with normal body weight it is much easier to get pregnant and give birth without problems than with excess or insufficient.

Another elementary truth that both spouses should keep in mind when planning a pregnancy: avoid caffeine, nicotine and alcohol. A cup of coffee, a morning cigarette and an evening glass of wine are better for a glass of juice, fresh fruit and a promenade along the seaside. By the way, a vacation before pregnancy is a great idea: a woman in a position does not benefit from long flights and climate change.

How to overcome fear of having a baby?

It often happens that newlyweds live extremely well: flourishing health, a solid career, their own apartment, a car, vacations at worthy resorts. It would seem that all the conditions for having a child. And the age is already quite suitable. But no: it suddenly turns out that one of the spouses is simply terribly afraid of having a baby. How to deal with this problem?

Most often, we are afraid of the unknown. And the best way to overcome this fear is to try to learn as much as possible about the pregnancy and childbirth process from books, lectures, forums or courses for childbirth. 

 

Psychologist's comment

“There is nothing more important than living together and preparing for pregnancy. You need to learn to share with each other the feelings that arise – including negative ones. A loving husband is obliged to delve into the essence of the processes that take place in the body of his wife.

During pregnancy, a woman, as it were, “withdraws into herself,” listens to the new life, and often moves away from her husband. This distance can increase after the birth of a child and greatly complicate the relationship between spouses. To prevent this from happening, pregnancy and childbirth should initially be perceived by spouses as their most important common cause at the moment ”.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with an unplanned pregnancy if the parents are sure of the strength of their feelings. But you must admit that when the husband is mentally ready to become a father, and the wife has undergone a thorough examination by doctors, the chances of comfortably transferring the pregnancy and minimizing risk factors are much greater.

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